Motorists

Dear Lord (not meant as an invitation to prayer, but a vent of frustration)

Today on my ride from the mile long bridge back to my house I encountered

(To the tune of 12 Days of Christmas)
12) Tailgaters
11) Soccer Moms on cell phones
10) Horses in a field
9) Pick-up trucks, surprisingly few for the rural-ity of my route
8) Dogs, none man enough to give me a chase
7) Stop signs with bullet holes, you know you are an Iowa farm kid when.....
6) Little hills
5) Hoosier love, and if you are a true Iowan, you will know what this is.
4) Soccer moms on cell phones that honked at me for being on the road (a record i do believe)
3) Idiot pricks on crotch rockets who thought it funny to buzz me
2) Friendly waves from cyclists and motorists.
1) Asshole who thought it was ok to yell at me for running a stop light, when no one was going the other way.

This asshole asked me what would have happened if he had hit me. I replied "we were going the same direction, you would have hit me from the rear, therefore, since you would have been at fault, I would own everything you own, everything you will make for awhile, and you would buy me a new bike, and pay for my medical expenses." He then told me I needed to be on a bike path, to which i replied " Does the interstate take you everywhere you want to go, because if not, you see why I am riding on the street." He went into a plethora of cursing about how cyclists didn't deserve to be on the road and a bunch of other negative things. This is when i remembered the greatest Basso line ever. "It's not my fault you are fat..." and then I was on my way, running the red light in front of him and smiling to myself.

Other than that my ride was uneventful, but fun.